A Reddit user, whom we’ll call Sofia, shared her story about being married to a man who was overly coddled by his mother, causing strain in their relationship. Raised in a household where everyone shared chores, Sofia found herself married to a “man-child” who refused to take responsibility, leaving their marriage in a precarious situation due to his lack of maturity.
The Reddit story gained so much attention that it was picked up by Bored Panda, who sought expert opinions to shed light on the situation. They reached out to Dr. Dana McNeil, LMFT, PsyD, Gottman-Trained Relationship Therapist and founder of The Relationship Place, for her professional insights.
Dr. McNeil explained that people often mimic the behaviors they observed growing up, particularly when it comes to household responsibilities. According to her:
“Many of us grow up in stereotypical environments where the person who does which chores have been assigned based on family members’ genders. For example, some of us grew up with the females in the home overseeing the “inside” chores and the male figures overseeing “outside” chores. Often, we unknowingly just repeat what we saw growing up without questioning if it is what suits our new family or are we just repeating what we had modeled for us,”
She also explained that when one partner consistently avoids household responsibilities, the couple may need to accept that this will remain an ongoing issue.
“Most couples are going to have diverse needs and expectations about what constitutes necessary chores to do around the house. If this is an ongoing issue in the relationship, then it is likely the couple will need to accept this will be a problem throughout the course of the relationship. The reality is you may never truly “resolve” the issue but instead would be served to decide this issue will always be an ongoing issue.”
While the Reddit post attracted a great deal of advice from online users, it’s important to approach these suggestions with caution, as they come from non-experts. For matters as significant as relationships, consulting qualified professionals is crucial to receive reliable and informed guidance. For relationship matters and professional advice, our team of relationship experts is more than happy to help.
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